What on earth are you doing for Heaven's sakes?

Reflection during Holy Communion

2009-06-09T14:55:00.002+08:00

Scripture Reference: John 18:33-38 1 Corin 11:23-30

We are told by Paul to take the bread and the wine and remember Jesus. Rememberance is not a sentimental nostalgia. Not reliving a glorious era or period over and over. A true act of remembering is the ability to connect the past with how we are faring now. It’s the ability to take a pivotal event in the past and apply the lessons to face today. The telling of the past instructs, informs and encourages us to live in the present in the light of the past. Take for example, the events of the racial riots of May 13 in the past, helps us to never take each racial group for granted. We remember May 13 as a painful event and guard and check ourselves today to exercise restraint, tolerance & respecting each other as it is too painful and too great a cost to go through it again.

Likewise remembering the sacrifice of Jesus’ body and blood as the perfect lamb for our sins marks an important and loving event 2000 years ago, and begs a questions, what does it mean for us today?

That brings us to the Pontius Pilate’s question before Jesus, “What is truth?” The truth of the matter is, Pilate is not interested in truth. He is interested in keeping peace in his obscure Jewish outpost, so that his career will not be jeopardized. He asks the question, but does not wait for the answer. For he had waited and pondered and listened to the voice of faith than to the voice of the crowd, he would have consider the Way, the Truth, and the Life standing in front of him. Perhaps he asked out of sarcasm, perhaps he asked a question ahead of his time. A question which perhaps more apt and fitting for our times, in today’s sophiscated and technologically savvy world.

The world today asks also the question, “What is truth?” And the truth is, sometimes we are also guilty of being more concerned about keeping peace and happiness than righteousness and holiness, about thinking much about ourselves than thinking much of others, about receiving than giving, about going our own ways than submitting our ways to Christ Jesus.

This morning we remember Jesus’ sacrificial act on the cross through his broken body and shedding of his blood, we bring this past event and try to connect and integrate it in our lives today. We ask not, “What is truth?” for we are already followers of the Truth, but how has truth being evident in our lives, being applied in our lives and how has Christ being seen in every facet of our lives… that is the question we ask this morning. We shall ponder this question for a while and allow ourselves to answer that question in our hearts before our Lord…..

What to do when you don't know what to do?

2008-07-18T14:51:00.003+08:00

Well...it has been a long while since I last posted.... will try to dust off my fingers and start typing else I be stricken with alhziemer?

Have you ever been in that situation? Not knowing what to do when you are in a dire situation? Like now? What to do, huh, when my "tai kor" (a.k.a Uncle Eric) has moved on to other ministries from the YA? Or that future is so uncertain with my working contract expiring prematurely and the prospect of the need of funds for college studies. Or the not feeling that well physically situation? The feeling of the heart weighing a tonne of bricks, and the lips could offer only dry words. One turns to prayer and scriptures as a form of antidote and the silence has never been more deafening. That heavy and helpless feeling does not abate. If my theology is right, it is not supposed to. My propensity to trust should increase, but, feeling, no!

What do you do when you do not know what to do? You wrestle? Wrestle? Just like Jacob? Yes, just like Jacob wrestled with God. Ronn Dunn (author of When Heaven is Silent) described a situation when he could not recognised his postman in an airport just because he was not in uniform. Is life like that too? Often we could not recognise a thing because it was wrapped in a different package. A blessing is not recognised when wrapped in a difficulty. Who can see beyond a failed exam? What blessing can come in a failed exam? Isn't that how our finite mind would argue?

Twenty years have passed, since the conman, Jacob, cheated his brother of his birth right and blessings. And Jacob now stands at the edge of the stream of Jabbok, after he received news that his brother Esau and his entourage of 400 men is set to meet him. He is unsure whether Esau has forgiven him. Jacob breaks his own entourage into 2, sending his family ahead to mitigate the risk. There at the edge of Jabbok he spent his night alone with his miseries, with his insecurities, with his "what to do when you don't know what to do" feelings. Genesis 32 tells us his blessings came admidst his struggles and wrestles with the angel. If you have seen a Olympic wrestling contest before, you realised that contestants throw everything at each other. The contest highlights your strength, yet, it also exposes your weaknesses. You appear to gain the upper hand, within that same breath, you are interlocked in a helpless grip and stranglehold by your opponent. That is how wrestling is supposed to be. God and us in a wrestling match and we throw everything at each other. We throw our complaints and our immaturities, He throws His often miscontrued-by-us loving actions.

I had often wondered how would an angel lose to a human in a wrestling match, unless..., unless the former had wanted the latter to win. At the breaking of dawn, God who was with Jacob through his entire wrestling episode, showed Jacob, a face not of fear and hopelessness, but a face of love to Jacob. His limp reminded him vividly of his blessing.

What am I do when I don't know what to do, Lord? I don't know, but I do know that you are with me AND you often package your blessings in different forms with or without a limp. Amen.

A Day in Kem National Service - 4 Jan 2009

2009-01-08T09:14:00.012+08:00

He came running towards us. His awkward way of running confirms that it was AG. He looked smart in his light blue uniform and his shiny black shoes. He never had a pair of black 'leather' shoes and now we don't have to buy one. His mum's eyes were already like wells of water. Hers were not the only pair of eyes wet. His hair trimmed soldier short. When informed of our arrival, he was washing his clothes. He slumped in a plastic chair and related his experience thus far in Kem Terkok, Sg Siput. Between the tone of his voice, and his choice of words, it doesn’t take a psychologist that know that he is expressing his disappointment and aches. Let’s face it, life is hard at National Service. No wonder many shirk it. From little food to deplorable living conditions, little sleep and constant marching under the hot sun that makes your legs weak and your body faint. Truth be told, it’s an ulu place.

The main road you see is Lintang which is a sub road from Sungai Siput. A small signboard is all you get to give you a hint that Kem Terkok is 1.5 km from this signboard. The small road accessible to only one way of vehicle at a time passes through rubber plantations and palm oil plantations. AG had said that its so ulu to deter anyone from escaping :-).

We started our journey at 6:50 am and reached the campsite at 10 am. The highway in the morning was covered with mist, like the fog you experience in England, especially on the Perak stretch. There were already a couple of families there visiting when we arrived. They page for him, “Sila mengambil perhatian, di kehendaki wira Ahh Moosss datang ke kawasan lawatan sebab keluarga anda sedang menunggu.” We had heard a fair share of people mispronouncing his name. We had to call him on his phone as he had not heard the announcement, after all he was focusing hard on washing his clothes. We were elated to see him.

The long blue roof houses the meeting area, while the smaller blue roof in the foreground of the picture houses the sundry shop. A can of coke goes for RM1.70 (not too bad). Yes, folks if you didn't bring a pail for washing clothes along, you can even get it there for RM6! We cannot venture beyond the coconut tress.

Now comes the hard test. We had wanted to bring AG out for the day but they wouldn’t allow. Prior to that we had prayed that we would be able to bring him out. Despite reasoning, they still said no. I could tell that Amos was ultra disappointed. They said that the Kem Kommander was away and no one to give the approval. Fair enough, I asked for the 2nd in command then, they replied that he is also out. In an organization and set up that relies on a chain of command and authority, I reasoned again that then I should see the 3rd person in command in the Kem. This went on for a few minutes. After that, he said, “tunggu sekejap…” my hopes were raised. We left the camp at 10:30 am with AG after he gobbled down a piece of cake. The family beside our table came to enquire what forms are we filling up. They thought we were filling up the early release letter/form for CNY. No, we told them we had written a letter for that already and we brought along to get them to acknowledge receipt.

We explored Sungai Siput town which is about 10 km away. We went for “chee chong fun” for breakfast and went to THE STORE to browse some items. Then we went to the most expensive restaurant in Sg Siput, the KFC restaurant :-). Had lunch there, and proceeded to have some cendul, probably best in town. No, we did not see Samy Vellu. Later went to a hypermarket to buy some items and guess what, it is time to bring him back to the camp already, as we promised he would be back at 4 pm.

We discovered that God's favour is upon AG as we experienced the following:-

a. trainers were helpful, friendly, and polite

b. we were able to go out despite the rules (later found out from AG that we were the only family that able to go out of all the 90 odd families that came that day)

c. good dorm mates despite different races (that is the aim of this national integration thingy, right?)

d. little but powerful events that lets him know that God is in his midst

Sorry I don't have the permission to post his picture taken with his mum as I need to respect his privacy and wishes especially with his new hair style.

We find that suddenly many youths are Christians because it will guarantee you out of the Kem on Sundays 3-5 pm. You have only a Catholic or a Mandarin speaking Chinese Methodist Church to choose from. They don't believe that "bananas" can be Christians :-). My son related on Jan 1, new year's day, some youth requested the authorities to send the youths out for church service. After arriving there in the church premises and finding it closed, the driver proceeded to give the youths a lecture and tongue lashing. The quick thinking youth resorted to telling him that "Gereja besar besar di Selangor semua ada mesyuarat dan servis!" :-) While I do not condone the half truths, I must admit there is always ingenuinity in trying to get the authorities to let them out.

We miss him very much!

National Service teaches to trust God both parents and trainee. Trust Him to be in control for things outside your control. They say you will have a "man back from national service." I would like to add that you have a "person who trusts God" back from National Service.

It is hard to be in national service, that is why I sms all YA youths assigned to NS every weekend as a way of encouraging them and spurring them on in the Lord!

Emmanuel!

Rekekah leaving home

2008-08-25T09:18:00.001+08:00

It was a loud crack of a kitchen pot dropping. I must have dozed off for half an hour from the entire night of tossing and turning. My normal fluffy and comfortable bed offered me no solace this time around. I had awoken feeling more tired than if I had not dozed off. I spent the cool night thinking about the warm farewell party the night before, and the numerous hugs and well wishes I received. Last night many tears have flowed, but I wasn’t sure they were tears of sadness to see me go or tears of joy for a new chapter in my life unfolding or even both.

My heart is heavy, my body numbed, and I seemed to have a grasshopper hopping in my stomach providing uneasiness, discomfort every other minute, and endless pain that permeates my entire body.

The sun is not up yet and won’t be for another hour or two. I realized that the sound from the kitchen, was mama feverishly preparing a favourite dish to accompany my journey. She had wanted me to sleep in and not to help her as preannounced the night before. I lit a candle which quickly lights up every corner of my room. I stared at my packed bag, and run my hand through my soft dress and scarf. I am leaving home, the thought sank deep. I can’t help but feel that every item in my bag reminds me of a part of me here. Even more odd is that I know that a strange bend of a branch that I will see elsewhere will bring to thought the ladle mama uses in the kitchen. Likewise, a smoothened surfaced rock will remind me of the small flat dressing table that papa had it made for me when I was 12. To see a high forehead of a stranger will immediately bring to mind papa’s maidservant. The sight of a lily will bring images of papa gathering a bunch of lilies on the sideboard every Wednesdays.

Admittedly leaving home for the first time is hard, painfully hard. What more leaving papa, mama, and Laban my brother. They are awesomely gracious to me, for I know they are acting brave, and remaining strong for my sake.

I had secretly and partially wished that mama or papa would have objected to allowing me to follow this stranger back. He said he was sent by his master to seek for a wife for his son. Frankly, I didn’t know giving him and his 10 filthy and stinking camels water to be nourished was in fact a selection criteria. How odd! A serious and noble decision based on a simple act. Any lady would have done that simple gesture.

At the party last night I heard whispers of accusation against my parents judgment in believing such simplistic story of a wife seeking entourage. They shrudded at the thought of a beauty maiden in the hands of a total stranger. And the only collateral he had was a reference to a great uncle whom we had not seen in ages. Anyone could have played up that story for evil gain.

Truth be told, I actually believed his story. Maybe it was the intensity that he told it and the excitement seen in his eyes without dropping from ours once. But more importantly I believed the story of the God of my great uncle who tries to weave his hand in my great uncle’s life and promised him a nation as many as the sand of the sea. Ironically a father of many offspring cannot find a wife for his son. My family requested that I stayed a further 10 days to ensure our goodbyes were long and complete. However, the servant pleaded otherwise. I was surprised I was given to right to arbitrate over it. I chose to go immediately. If you have seen that pair of eyes, you would have understood why.

Sure, I would be lying if I said I have never thought how the son looked. Would he be handsome? Wouldn’t it be every girls dream of marrying one? What about romance? Would he be ugly? Would he be strong or would he be frail, with his two front teeth protruding out even when lips are sealed. Would he have a high & sharp nose, bright eyes, and long wavy soft hair. Would he treat me and my maids well? Would he be gentle, kind, loving and caring? Would he be a spoiled brat of a millionaire’s son that you know so well about? Frankly I am not sure, my heart is stirred with anticipation and soured with fear. I am entrust it to the greater Scheme of things. The Lord of Abraham my great uncle will surely make it well even if things are considered unwell for me.

Mama has taught me well socially among many things. I consoled myself to think that I shall never be lonely even if I was alone. I am well liked and I draw friends like bees to honey. My personality ensures that I relate to people well. What a blessing to have!

Now I am about to be thrusted into the future. My fears of the unknown, of a new environment and surrounding, of a new schedule to keep, of the transition from a lady to a women, of the new role I am set to play, and of serving a total stranger and pleasing a man who’s personality I know not, sends a shiver down my spine.

However, at the same time, I have a strong hunch that this feelings are actually blessings dressed in the clothes of fear. I am at the dawn of a new morning, of a journey, of an adventure, of possibilities, of new friendships, of new relationships, of new challenges, of new trust in my faith, and of an encounter with the God of my great uncle Abraham, where fears are only a precursor, an onion for me to peel to get to the blessing, and a small membrane for my blessing to break free from and avail itself and to be experienced in fullness.

“Rebekah”, I heard mama called me, breaking the silence, “its time for your blessed transition to begin.” Perhaps that sums up everything about leaving home.

Glory be to the God of Abraham!

Governance Structure Model

2008-07-24T11:07:00.000+08:00

I am the type that I needed a picture (or a model) first before I can write anything. Perhaps I am a pictorial person versus audio one.

My first attempt at a Governance Structure Model. Essentially this model describe how we can govern the implementation well for the customer. 4 rectangles and 4 ovals and cost a couple of millions? hmmm.....

See whether you can make sense of the below:-

(cannot seemed to upload it....will get it to jpg format and try again)

Another day

2008-07-23T13:52:00.001+08:00

This morning, I contacted my boss to let him know that I wanted to work from home today....then I realised that I had left the laptop in the office...which made me looked like a fool to contact him again to say that I am going into the office.

Back in the office, my boss came to see me and said, "I need your help...." a.k.a "here's work for you to do." Wanted me to write a governance structural plan for a multi million dollar bid for a implementation out of Singapore. I am still a bit blur of what is to be written. He thinks I have a magical wand that can whip words into a plan and document. See me soooo UP! :-) Well....actually he thinks I don't have much to do. Actually, goreng lor.... and do a song and dance. Anyway, whatever requested of me I will do a good job, that's a promise.

Bought 3 books again on Monday..... No. 791 already. Oh dear when can I finish reading all my books? Latest one, "Shadow and Chivalry" is on a commentary on C S Lewis and George MacDonald on their fantasical writings relating to Suffering, Pain and Goodness.

Didn't know that both Lewis and MacDonald lost their mothers when they were very young.

Anyway I wish you all a good day...

All you wanted to know but afraid to ask

2006-09-21T13:24:00.002+08:00

Hi all,

Have you ever wondered what your parents did or talk about when they attend the CANOPY meetings (or was it called the NOSEY meetings). Let me share some light on what we (yes, we, I am involved too!) discussed and talked about.

By the way, CANOPY is an acroymn for Communing And Neighbouring Of Parents with Youths. It is more that we as parents are often not very good at being one. We need some practical help or tips or encouragement to enable us to relate ourselves and befriend you better in a parent-teenager relationship. These CANOPY meetings are for us to talk about our failures as parents, our shortcomings, our desires to be better parents, our yearnings to mentor you in the ways of the Lord, and seeking wisdom from others in the community who may have journeyed that path of our shortcomings before. We shall primarily be talking about ourselves, our relationship with the Lord, our relationship that ought to be with our spouses, our parenting skills (or the lack of it), and our praying together as a community of God's people.

We give you the assurance that YOU will not feature as a subject of our discussions. In rare occasions that we do, rest assure that we will definitely obtain your permission first. Failing to obtain your permission, we have no right to discuss you. We will not embarrass you nor will we disclose anything personal about you. We will also not be nosey!

We are meeting as a group because of the desire for us to form a community with like mindedness people. We hope to neigbour with one another as God desires us to be in a community. Some communities in Africa, requires that an entire community be entrusted to help raise up children, children not only from one's own family but children from others' families.

At the end of the day, YOU are precious to us and hence we shall demonstrate a decorum of taking your interests in our hearts. We want to do all we can with the Lord's help , to encourage that both our (you and I) characters may be characters that is a testament to being like Christ in all that we do.your lives. Not just now, but the rest of our lives.

Thank you.

Love,
U Gan (on behalf of all CANOPYers)

p/s I would certainly like to hear from you on what do you think you would like us to discuss in our CANOPY meetings? Specific topics are welcome too!

WORSHIP WORKSHOP

2007-02-25T14:05:00.001+08:00

If you have any comments which you want give to U Gan regarding the worshop that was conducted on Saturday 24 Feb 2007, you may post it here and U Gan can interact with you.

One of the distinct difference between praise and worship is this. Praise tends to be directed to the person who has done something eg. "John is so hardworking preparing for his exams" or "Mary is so gifted with her drawing". Whereas worship is directed for who the person is and what he/she character represents. For example, "Jesus is the Great Saviour or "Our Father has never let us down before" or "God is Faithful and Trustworthy"

Surprised by Death - A Father's Anguish

2007-08-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

Surprised by Death

Move on, move on my child is dying! The crowd was huge, each jostling for the best view, like river water bursting at its banks. I see many faces that eventful day. Faces looking for thrills, any will do, faces that looked for excitement, faces that looked for juicier stories to gossip, faces of unbelief, faces beaming with confidence. However, there are also faces which bear years of wrinkles of suffering and hardships, faces that looked for hope that seemed so lost, faces that needed healing, faces that needed an extraordinary touch of something, of anything.

I managed to push myself to the front of the crowd, I thought I had legitimate reasons to do so for my talitha is dying. I had all kinds of favours asked of me in the synagogues, so I figured a big favour now for a great man of God isn’t something too big for him. I overheard them talking that he calmed the storm with words just last night, and they talked also about the Porky Pork Story. It seemed so unbelievably that he had just delivered the Incredible Hulk who terrorized us through the demons. Truthfully, I am at my wits end. He represented my last resort. My daughter is my everything. She reminded me so much of her mother. If anyone can do it, it is this Man.

Move on, move on my child is dying! When they got off the boat, this Jesus gazed at me as if He knew what I was about to ask of him. Just by looking at his eyes, I knew He loved me, He cares for me, cares for my talitha. Strange that such a stranger would exudes eyes of warm and love. I fell at his feet for I thought it makes my request more genuine. I uttered my request as if my life depended on it, and ironically, my child’s life does, that my little girl is dying and for him to come to and put his hands and heal my daughter. I spoke as if I had rehearsed the words for so long. In fact, I had rehearsed it a zillion times on the way from my house to the lake. I was surprised that He just went with me without much fanfare. I was surprised and amazed at his ease of approachability, his caring attitude despite not knowing me. I was surprised to note that a fame healer like him, moved and acted upon my first request for help as if I had the power to pull the strings to move him.

Move on, move on my child is dying! Jewish people are too curious a people. Some followed because they knew this Jesus is heading to my house, the rest followed because the crowd moved, not knowing where they are heading. They wouldn’t have cared a great deal even if we were heading to the toilet. I was quite anxious that the crowd moved too slowly. Suddenly, Jesus stopped as if concerned about something and asked who touched him. Its like going to the temple during the Passover Celebrations and asked who touched you? Of course everyone’s touching him for we are liked a packed of dried anchovies in the food leatherskin. It sounded so silly. One of the disciples, the burly one, spoke as if in a ridiculing tone echoing the same what was on everyone’s mind, “we do not know who touched you...” Despite that, I saw Jesus’ endearing eyes looking out for someone that he was to find. His eyes seeking out… A woman came forward trembling and fell at His feet, sorry for her mistake, to admit her touch…… His touch guarantees healing, however, this time, He was the receiver of a touch.

Move on, move on my child is dying! Good for you, you are healed O nameless, faceless woman, but my child is dying and you are taking precious time away from the healer, from the child who’s only hope of survival is through a miraculous healing. Every moment that ticked away, is a moment closer to imminent death for my child. Hurry up, women! Hurry up, crowd! Hurry up, Jesus! Can’t all these wait till my child is healed. Definitely the woman wouldn’t have bleed to death. She had bled for 12 years, what is another 1 hour more? Jesus is making mountains out of mole hills. However, Jesus appeared to have healed her of her unclean state of bleeding and oblivious to the fact that he was on a 999 emergency trip to save someone seriously ill, as he spoke to the women and assuring her that her faith had healed her and restoring her to our Jewish society. I began to reluctantly understand a bit that Jesus wanted to proclaim to all present that she is no longer ceremonially unclean. Certainly we cannot see her faith but certainly Jesus felt her action of a touch. Perhaps faith without action is dead. Talking about this, do I have this faith? They have always told us to mourn with those who mourn. That was easy. I find it so hard to rejoice with those who rejoice. The last time I was passed as a synagogue leader for another, I certainly didn’t feel happy for the other who was promoted ….

Just then, people ran hysterically to me and half catching their breadth and half spitting out the news that my child had died. It took too long for the healer to get to my sick child. Now, all is vain. If there is life, there is hope. Now, in death all my hopes evaporated. Tears immediately filled my eyes. I wasn’t quite sure the tears were for sadness or in disappointment that the Healer took too long. My heart was overwhelmed with sorrow, my throat dried up. I died a thousand deaths, wished that death would have taken me as well. My little girl, pride of my life, beauty of my soul, joy of my joy, she was just growing into a beautiful young lady, and she even had her mum’s dimples…. Now gone. How can I carry on? How can I live without her? What have I done to deserve this?

Move on, move on, my child is dead! Jesus saw the news had affected me very much and patted me on the shoulder to say, “don’t be afraid, only believe.” He looked at me with the same look that I first saw him near the lake, warm, knowing what he was doing, with immense care. He told me not to be afraid, for I was shaking like a leaf perhaps both due to fear and my sorrow. To ask me not to be afraid is like asking a hungry baby not to cry. When governed by my insecurities, I become emotionally afraid. That is natural. Perhaps it is his way of telling me to exhibit something different, something unexpected even when it is natural to exhibit the expected. Perhaps it is his way of teaching me to trust when its natural to distrust, to believe when the situation gets so unbelievably hopeless. Perhaps it is time to contemplate and witness that there is life even in death. Like the ark in Noah’s time was provided as an escape to all but instead our forefathers chose to treat it as a curse, as a punishment along with the rain and flood. Just as in death in my daughter’s case, will it be used to magnify the glory of the God that this man serves. Death to demonstrate life, what an irony!

I want to believe help my unbelief! He started walking toward our house, each step purposeful, as if some glory is supposed to be revealed. I followed, strutting out each step matching his. My tears have stopped flowing already, replaced with beads of perspiration, replaced with anticipation, replaced with an air of confidence that comes from Him. Are my steps that matched His considered faith to Jesus? Like our patriarch Abraham who was considered faithful when he put him son Isaac on the altar? Could it be?

We approached my house, there were loud wailing, there were so much commotion. Jesus spoke and was audible enough for most to listen despite the background noise. He said “she is not dead, she is sleeping” . Immediately He was greeted with cynical laughter. The kind of laughter that you get when you cannot do a simple arithmetic in front of your unforgiving class. The kind, that implies that you are silly. A withered leaf, is only hibernating? No wonder they laughed so hard. But then I thought they should not laugh so for they too have heard about the tidal waves scene, and the casting of the Porky Chop Joe’s demons. Bleeding Barbara’s case perhaps have not reached their eyes. But I see it happening again. The Great Man of God forbade more being revealed to those who would not believe, who would not soften their hearts, who would not consider to even want to believe. It heard it happened during the healing of the man with the shriveled hand, the casting of the demon, telling of parables instead of plain messages, and the people who witnessed the pigs, and now its happening again. He was constantly bombarded with unbelief. He always appear to stop people from knowing and hearing more for those who have consistently disbelieve and consistently hardened their hearts and understanding of who He might be. He disallowed crowds to follow Him further. He only chose the burly follower of His and 2 others to see my little girl. By now her body had slowly but beginning to turn cold. My precious girl, so full of life, so full of cheer, so full of affection just days before, now lies there very cold, very lifeless, and very dead. Tears filled my eyes once again to see her in this state.

Jesus walked towards my girl and spoke in a tender but authoritative tone, “Talitha koum.” Immediately I saw my girl’s eyes were opened, her eyelids shutter a couple of times in attempt to wet her dry cornea. She folded her arms and rubbed each of the elbows for my guess is that she was feeling cold. She sat up on the edge of the bed and placed her legs on the floor and looked around the room and immediately got up to walk. She appeared to know who had spoken to her. Jesus responded to her by instructing us to give her something to eat and instructed us not to tell anyone.

Its so unbelievable! O this Jesus, the marvelous Son of God. Giver of life, Giver of faith, makes the faithless faithful, fears get cast out in the midst of His voice. O this Jesus, lover of our souls. How can I not believe in the midst of so many proves. Looking back, my turning point of fear, anguish, and hopelessness comes when he spoke to my fears, then comes the choice, I choose to put forward my steps, I choose to believe. Even in death there is hope!

Christ the Lord is Risen!

2007-04-09T08:04:00.000+08:00

On the Easter morning, outside the tomb Mary Magdalene stood weeping for she thought someone has taken the Lord’s body. In the midst of all her despair, her wounds, her feeling of being lost, of not knowing what to do, her emptiness, the feeling of that her whole world had crumbled, her insecurities and pain. Not sure whether the death of her good friend or the lost of the body was more painful for her. In midst of all these, she heard a voice, a voice she was familiar with, the same voice that commanded 7 demons to be driven from her previously, it was the voice of the Lord. And the voice called her name, “Mary!” It is through the voice calling her name, that made her tears cease, made her realise it was the Lord Jesus and not the gardener that was in the tomb, made her mindful that the beloved and precious Son of God who flung stars into space is personal to even a sinner like her. It is often the real and clear understanding of who Jesus really is, that brings us to see beyond our present state, beyond our pain, our sufferings, our inadequacies and to focus on the Lamb of God.

And the Resurrection has reaped the eternal benefits. Through the Resurrection, death has lost its sting, Through the Resurrection, the Comforter & Counselor came and bore witness amongst us, it made the understanding of “2 births and 1 death” vivid clear.

Through the Friday of immense sadness, gloom, & despair, and the Saturday of lost and hopelessness, comes the Sunday of joy, of celebrations, and of hope beyond words. Christ the Lord is Risen!

YA THANKSGIVING DINNER

2007-02-13T21:55:00.000+08:00

Dear Beloved Youths,

Well done on your organising the YA Thanksgiving Dinner. It was planned well though a bit lengthy.

I think Sue Ann & Evon gave a good account of the Emceeing.

Amos, V-Jin, & Zhong Xin (the gang of 3) and the rest of the planning team did a good job.

The slideshow by Tabby was hilarious yet enough meat for a year's reflection. We don't mind it to be longer.

The food catered by Monica was sumptous and plentiful.

We had some geniune sharers during testimony time. Agnes sharing was very courageous.

Thanks for the gifts to Advisors.

Thankful to Deborah for being self-less in serving the YA. She is the only official 5th former left in the Committee. Believe me, during some days she may be questioning herself on whether it was a correct decision. God knows all our sacrifices.

Andrew's game was interesting (except that he wore shorts! )

Thanks for everyone who came early to help around.

Thanks for the usherers.

Worship time lead by Alicia and Zhong Xin was different from the normal songs we sang.

THINGS THAT WE COULD IMPROVE:-
1. It started late, we ended very late. Perhaps, sharers should be reminded of their allocated time.
2. We should plan our time more carefully and ensure we should not overun the schedule
3. There were a couple of start-stop activities.

However, overall, we are proud of you youths.

There is a Zakaria in all of us

2006-11-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

For these past few days, the nation has been gripped with news of abuse of power and expected preferential treatment in the form of Dato Zakaria, Klang UMNO division head, and municipal councillor. When I first saw his mansion aired over the TV, my jaw dropped. It was a massive and magnificent 4 storey bungalow with a castle like protrusion.

As my thoughts laid on this subject matter, I cannot help but feel that we are in many ways like him - a Zakarian.
We only admit our sins when it is exposed. If at all geniune repentance comes only when we are cornered with our sins. When we have no way to maneurve then will we stand up and admit it together with our sins ugly head exposed. Our folly does not end there, we continue to blame on everything we see and know in our path. We do not call sin, a sin, but we call it using names like, "the way I was brought up", "I was provoked", "he deserved it", "its not so bad everyone's doing it", etc, etc. We are experts in it. Zakaria blamed on the architect, on the opposition, on situations. His friends said that we should give him a break and not bring him down because he had a humble beginning. Without true repentance for our sins, our previous standing with God count for nothing. We have only ourselves to blame. We can't even blame Satan on judgement day. I paraphrase CS Lewis' statement, "At the end of the world, there will be one group of people who will tell God, "Thy will be done." There will be another group of people to whom God will say, "thy will be done." If we choose to sin, our will to sins will condemn us.

Our sins should turn us remorseful. I read that he tried not step down from his political positions and no remorse shown for wrongdoings. Zakaria built a heavenly mansion here on earth that got him into trouble. Are we also guilty of this? We pursue unhealthy relationships, maintain certain vocabularies, banish certain attitudes and idolise items rather than Jehovah. These are all heavenly mansions on earth. Heard about the portion of scripture that says everything will be tested with fire at the end of times. What can last through the refiner's fire? Why not build your mansion in heaven?

I read with amusement about Zakaria trying to play hide and seek with the Sultan. Adam tried that too with God. We cannot run away from God. In our sins, we shall perish.

Our quest for wealth should never turn us away from God. That is why Jesus says the harder for the rich to enter the kingdom of God.

Guard our hearts in righteousness.

Put off the Zakaria in you and put on the Jesus from above.

May the Lord bless us and keep us in remaining faithful to him.

In Memory of the late Mrs Neo

2006-10-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

I was awakened by high pitching tone on my mobile. Call was from Pastor early Saturday morning. My gut feeling tells me its not good. Pastor uttered, “Adeline Neo passed away this morning at 1:30 am…”

C S Lewis in grieving for his beloved wife, wrote a book entitled, “A Grief Observed.” Jack greatly mourned the passing of his wife. Jack, a bachelor for many good years, was an Oxford professor and later also Cambridge, was a great Christian thinker, writer and whose literary skills and works are second to none. He found it hard to meet women who equaled with him on intellectual matters, much less qualify as his wife, until he met Helen. He loved Helen deeply and passionately. So when Helen passed away due to cancer, Jack was heart broken. A Grief Observed was an honest, account of love and of one’s hurts and pains.

I have been thinking of what C S Lewis wrote, “Grief is not a point on a line, but a process.” Grief is not something you get it over with, not sure whether it even gets eroded with time. We are continually acquainted with grief. The picture that hangs on the wall of the loved one, brings a painful reminder. A birthday card that we received brings another reminder. Without digging deep into our memory, we have enough memories that pained us when the image of our loved one appeared. We do not know which is easier, to forget, or to remember. Initially, we are stricken with utter sadness. Sadness that sometimes caused us to weep uncontrollably, like a child. Until the reality that the person we loved, can no longer be with us, we experienced lost. We are numbed in the heart, our chest bears a heavy and weary front, our fingertips has a prickly sensation, and every part of us has a sour feeling. We know not what the days ahead hold. When we are left all to ourselves, loneliness sets in. The things that interests us so much before, command not a second look by us. The favourite seat remained unfilled. The favorite pillow laid undisturbed, the well used mug remained on the rack, and the favorite book is left unfinished. We have lost interest in things, in perspectives, in life. The laughter that filled the room and which had brought so much joy and gladness, traded places with air of stillness, gloom, and pain. Memories, oh painful memories. Certainly, grief is a process.

“Pour your heart to him, for God is our refuge.” – Ps 62.8. The Psalmist invites us to pour our hearts to God . Is that supposed to be godly therapy? Engaging God in our pains and heartaches, what if I feel I have no energy nor mood to engage. God has robbed away a loving wife from Mr Neo, a devoted mother from Richie and Carol, a caring sister to Robin, and a warm friend to us all? What else is there to talk? Nothing else mattered! Yes, God, we are pouring such a question to You. Would you mind answering it? How can any good be derived from such great loss and a grief? God, you just don’t know what it is to grief for the loss of someone dear. In the same breath, my eyes happened to lay on the cross. The Cross? Surely, the place where the willing Son of God, died for the rebellious, and unwilling people. The meeting place of the love sacrifice of the best for the worst, the priceless for the worthless, and the holy for the ugliest of the sinful. The day when God wept and grieved but yet, it is still in His perfect will. In the cross, we see good deriving from the death of the man from Galilee who had not an iota of sin.

Am I supposed to pour out everything to God? Everything? Even the not so niceties? You promised to be my refuge. My mind couldn’t think, I looked up the dictionary to see what the word truly means. Security? Hiding place? Shelter? Another verse, immediately spring to mind. “You are a shelter in my right hand.” God, you promised to be our refuge, our hiding place, a place where can hide out from the bombs and artilleries of pain and suffering, and to be able to come out safe and intact, every faculties of ours intact. You promised also to be the shield in my right hand. You know that it is my right that lies all my vulnerabilities, all my discomforts, all my pains, all my grieves, all my fears, all my tears, all my heartaches, all my imperfections and all my weaknesses. I am supposed to pour out everything from my heart to you and yet feel that I am safe and secure under your bosom. God, sometimes I just do not know what to do, but I want my eyes to be on you. God promises to pitch his tent (tabernacle) in our weakness. There is glory in our groaning. God had pitched his tent with mankind when “God became flesh, and dwelled among us.” God is pitching his tent with all the saints that had been called home to him. And God will continue to pitch his tent in our hearts, to bear testimony to his goodness in every of our weaknesses.

I heard the eulogies from Richie on how good a mother the late Mrs Neo was and from Robin Ong, (Mrs Neo’s brother) who returned from Portland, Oregon, on how sacrificing a sister, Adeline was. Sorry I missed eulogy from Mr Neo. Adeline gave up two golden opportunities to further her studies abroad so that she can look after the affairs of her siblings. I echo what Pastor said, “Adeline has fought a good fight, have finished the race and have kept the faith.” We celebrate the legacy that the late Adeline Neo has left for her husband, children, brother, sister, and friends. We honour her life lived well. She is among the saints called to a place, with eternal brightness, fragrance of freshness surrounds it, the multitudes all robed in white like beads of pearls on the shores of heaven. She realized that her legs no longer ached her. Her arms no longer bear blue and black. Her breathing, if required, had been deep and effortlessly. A place void of any pain and tears. It appears unbeknown to her, her frailty had been exchanged into perfect strength. Lightweighted, she securely felt. Her lips are singing the hymns of eternal praise, and crying out “Holy, Holy, Holy, Worthy is the Lamb.” The melody that she miraculously heard 4 times before some 1.5 years back, is being sung over and over again in the company of God’s saints who had a seal on their foreheads in her homecoming celebration. She found herself having a seal on her forehead too. The Apostles are there greeting her and embracing her with such tenderness and endearment. Peter, the keeper of the pearly gates, looked on approvingly and with joy that could not be contained. Beyond it all, the Great Shepherd awaits her there to give her a crown of righteousness, and for her to examine the scars on his side and palms. The brightness of her face shone through and she is unable to stop expressing joy and laughter. She sees many people, some she knows and many she does not yet, but then in that place, its is goodness, and holiness in getting to know the other saints and listen to their salvation stories. The pavement is all paved with gold and precious materials, but that did not attract her. Not even the luxurious mansion prepared for her enticed her to remain in the mansion a little longer to savor it. Her gaze was fixed on the GREAT I AM, the One who mattered most, the Lord Abraham, Joseph, Moses, and Samuel worshipped, the Jehovah that led the great multitudes from the earthly place Egypt that she read so much about. All was silent when she was ushered into His great white throne, and the words which she so longed to hear for all her Christian life, being uttered with so much gutso and sheer joy, “Adeline, thou great and faithful servant, enter into the joy of thy Master.”

YA for next Saturday

2006-09-09T11:50:00.000+08:00

Well if you know, next week, we are supposed to have participated the LRT Amazing Race. Since, none of our YA-ers are attending, (high entry fees being one of the reasons), there is a open slot for YA next week.

This is what I have been thinking:-

We shall have a Quiz of sorts.

GENERAL INFO:-
We shall divide ourselves into 3 groups. Each participant gets to choose a question from a category of their choice to answer. If gets to answer it first, failing which his/her group gets to anwer. Again, failing which, it is then opened to the other groups.

CATEGORIES OF QUIZ
Tentatively, we shall select from the below categories:-
a. Capitals of nations
b. Parables of Jesus
c. Lyrics of hymnals
d. Famous Quotations
e. Names of Bible Characters
f. Meaning of idioms/Expressions
g. Pictures of places/buildings
h. History
i. Random Trivial
j. Bible Knowledge
k. Sports

HOW THE QUIZ WORKS
Each category will have 5-6 questions. Each question in each category gets harder in sequence. First question of that category which is supposedly easier will be tagged with 5 points, and maybe the second question is worth 8 points which is harder than the first, and so on. You cannot jump to answer the 4th question if the 2nd question of that category has not been answered. Easy?

ADDITIONAL FUN RULES
1) Prior to the start of the quiz, each team is allowed to "bid" and "sell" for any players to be included in their team. Bidding and selling is done and payment is via points transfered. For example, if Team A & Team B both bid for player X from Team C, and if Team A wins Team B in bidding for the player in a tender process (because Team A pledge higher points to be paid to Team C), then Team A is liable to pay Team C the designated amount of points. Hence, points will be deducted from Team A and paid to Team C. Team C does not have the option not to sell the player. The only way that Team C can retain that player is to bid for their own player to be retained in the team by placing a value (in terms of points) secretly via a ballot. If the point placed by Team C is higher than any of the bidders, then player X is retained. However, Team C, is liable to lose the difference in points from the value of the highest other bidders. For example, if Team A & B bid secretly for a player at 15 and 12 points respectively, while Team C bids for own player at 18 points, then Team C will lose 3 points from total score. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONLY ONE BIDDING FOR PLAYERS FROM EACH TEAM.

2) If a team member cannot answer a question, the team or the individual can decide to buy a hint from the Master of Ceremony. However, the hint is only made know to the team and not the other teams. If the question has been opened to the other teams, any other team can also buy a hint.

3) Each team has a MULTIPLIER WILDCARD to play. Meaning, if answering a 10 point question, if the team is confident in answering the question favorably, the team can decide to play the WILDCARD prior to the reading of the question. If the team manages to answer that question favourably, then the team will stand to win 20 points instead due to the multiplication factor. Only one MULTIPLIER WILDCARD is allowed per team.

4) If you have any dispute to any proceedings of the quiz, you may raise your concerns and petitions to the MASTER REFEREE. Bringing your petitions to the MASTER REFEREE is not free and it will cost you some administrative points. However, if the MR judges in your favour, then the points will be returned to you. If unfavourably, the points will be forfeited.

So interesting enough??

Share your thoughts with me. Thanks. Bye got to get ready to fetch Amos for the YA Committee Meeting.

Appreciation notes

2006-09-02T11:06:00.000+08:00

Thank you all for your kind and appreciate notes during the Bro & Sis Appreciation Nite. I am appreciative of what you have written and encouraged me. I truly hope and pray that we can be friends with you and vice versa. I promise to accept you for who you are and not who everybody thought you ought to be. I will remember not to judge you for only God judges us. While I want you all to grow spiritually, I want to help you see the benefits of a life that is lived for the Lord and an obedient life. The choice is all ours to make. I will want to listen to you first before I desire to speak, seeking to understand you first before being understood. I shall try my best to demonstrate to you I can be like one of you i.e. speaking your lingo, partake the things you liked to do, and filter your actions and things that you hold dear to, first seeing you through the eyes of a teenager and affectionating you regardless. I shall try my best to be authentic with you, living out what I profess. On occasions that I faltered, I seek yours and God's forgiveness. I shall have your best interests at heart and support you in your heart's best interests.

I echo Paul's prayer for the Phillippians, "that my prayer for you is that your love will abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and be pure and blameless until the day of Christ...."

Amen!

Tell me this!

2006-07-31T16:08:00.000+08:00

Would you rather...

1. be free to hate or compelled to love
2. live a month in poverty doing good or live a day in plenty doing evil
3. live a year having leprosy and going heaven or live a month in abundance and going hell
4. be Paul or Peter
5. be Martha or Mary
6. have the gift of healing or target of the gift
7. apologize or apologized to
8. be King David or Uriah the Hitite
9. death evade you or the same death falls on someone else
10. be kind in error or cruel but right
11. pray or be prayed for
12. be without tap water or electricity for a week
13. use a vulgar word and feel good or restrained yourself but feel lousy
14. live in material darkness now and enjoy light in after-life than to live in material brightness now and live in eternal darkness in after-life
15. be beautiful/handsome with lousy character or beautiful character but lousy looks
16. repay evil now with one blow or let God repay evil with a major blow later
17. change yourself or change others around you
18. love or hate
19. forgive or harbour bitterness
20. let go or grip tight of anything in life

The things that cannot be seen are eternal!

Uncle Gan 31 Jul 2006 4:35 pm Copyright 2006

Welcome to my new Blog!

2006-07-28T16:27:00.000+08:00

My FAQs!

1) Why did you move from Xanga?
I don't know, am I not supposed to move?

2) Why did you bother to create another blog when you didn't even maintain the previous one?
Just because I didnt write then does not mean I won't write more in the future.

3) Why do you think people especially the youths will read your blogs?
Not many people read SUN newspaper but that doesn't stop them from not being printed daily.

4) Don't you think you are too old for this - blogging?
Perhaps you would like to clarify with Pastor Tony on the age part especially? (hehehe)

5) Do you have much interesting things to share?
My readers will prefer my blog contents then to their "Kemahiran Hidup" books.

6) Why do you want to be YA Advisor?
Well, err... because I am young at heart?

7) What is your formula for peace in the Middle East?
Go back in a time machine to the period before Sarai gave her Egyptian maid servant Hagar to Abram as wife to prevent the birth of Ishmael.

8) Are you a strict parent?
I am only strict when my calling requires me to be strict.

9) Do you have any regrets in life?
That I have only 3 children?

10) Why are you always beating round the bush?
Beating around the bush is better than giving no answers at all.

Contents are Copyrighted 2006